Self Talk: The most powerful word

In the Beginning Was the Word, and the Word Was Power: How Language Shapes Your Reality

The root of all creation in your mind begins with words. Just as “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God,” the words you choose become the foundation of the world you live in. They aren’t just abstract symbols; they are the framework through which your mind interprets reality.

Your words create the experience you live. The labels you attach to events and experiences shape not only how you perceive them in the moment, but how they are etched into your mind as memories. Every event can be described in factual terms, emotional terms, or somewhere in between—and it is this storytelling, this inner dialogue, that gives meaning to your life.

When you think in words, you’re already giving abstract shape to reality. And the story you tell yourself about those experiences determines whether you grow or shrink in the face of them. Words are the medium through which we translate raw experiences into lessons, emotions, and ultimately, our perception of reality.

The most powerful thing to recognize is this: You have the power to control and define how you narrate your life. You are the author of the stories you tell yourself, and with that power comes a tremendous opportunity. If you retell events as factually and positively as possible, you can shift your emotional landscape. This isn’t lying—it’s mind hacking. It’s a conscious choice to frame your life in a way that benefits your growth, your peace, and your progress.

Mind Hacking: The Art of Reframing

Consider this: there is no objective "truth" to how you emotionally interpret an experience. There is only your perspective. And while we cannot change what has happened, we can change how we interpret it, how we learn from it, and how we move forward.

This is where the real power of language comes in. When you retell events to yourself, you can do so in a way that uplifts rather than diminishes you. Stoics like Epictetus remind us that it’s not the events themselves that disturb us, but our judgments about them. You hold the ability to frame your experiences in ways that empower you.

So, how do you do this? By retelling your story in a way that turns every setback into a lesson, every failure into fuel for growth, and every hardship into a crucible that forges strength. When you consciously choose the words you use to describe your experiences, you are not distorting reality—you are choosing to see reality through a lens that serves your higher purpose.

Your Perspective, Your Power

Now, does this mean that you ignore the perspectives of others? Absolutely not. True strength lies not in dominating your perspective over others, but in understanding and acknowledging that each person lives within their own narrative. Compassion begins when you recognize that everyone is telling themselves a story, just as you are. But at the end of the day, the only perspective you can fully experience is your own.

This doesn't mean you dismiss others’ experiences. Jocko Willink teaches that respecting others’ perspectives strengthens your ability to lead and influence​. Compassion is born when you acknowledge that others’ stories matter too. Connection happens when you honor the narratives that both empower you and help others grow.

The Balance Between Fact and Emotion

You mention the difference between describing events factually versus emotionally. This is where balance comes in. Pure facts can be cold, but unchecked emotions can distort reality. The key is to recognize that both facts and emotions have a place. The words you use should ground you in reality but also uplift you emotionally.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this balance. Susan David would say that our emotions are data—they tell us something important, but they should not be our master​. So, when retelling your story, be honest with yourself. Acknowledge what happened, but choose to focus on the growth it brings. If you fell short, acknowledge it and turn it into fuel for self-improvement. If you succeeded, celebrate the achievement and build upon it.

You Own the Narrative

At the core, your perspective is your reality. But this doesn’t mean that your perspective is always right or perfect—it just means it's the one you experience. So, take ownership of your narrative. Be deliberate in choosing how you define events. Don’t fall into the trap of victimhood, where life happens to you. Instead, frame life as happening for you, with every experience providing a new opportunity to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

There’s no need to be bound by past interpretations. You can rewrite your story at any time. And when you do, make sure it’s a story that inspires you to keep moving forward—one that acknowledges the facts but empowers you with optimism, resilience, and hope.

This is not about ignoring reality; it’s about mastering it.

When you realize that your words have the power to shape your reality, you unlock a new level of mastery over your mind and your life. The world may remain chaotic and full of uncertainties, but with the right words, you can always bring order to your inner world. And in doing so, you become a stronger, more capable version of yourself—one who not only shapes their own life but helps others shape theirs too.

Only losers want fairness-Be glad Life isn't fair!

Life’s Unequal Truths: Harnessing Reality for Growth and Empowerment

There are many inequalities in the physical world, and it’s precisely these imbalances that make everything happen. Cars move because of friction, planes fly due to pressure differences, and our bodies grow through chemical reactions that are anything but “equal.” Life itself thrives on these forces—so let’s face it: life isn’t fair. And it’s not supposed to be. But rather than seeing this as a curse, understand it as the way nature works, and use it to your advantage.

Too many people are stuck in the false belief that life should be fair, as if fairness were a law of the universe. This thinking, driven by emotion, can trap you in a cycle of self-pity and stagnation. It’s easy to call for fairness when you feel like you’re on the losing side, but ask yourself honestly: If you were winning, would you really want the world to be fair? Probably not. And that’s not evil; it’s natural. The key is to rise above this need for fairness and instead focus on growth and personal mastery.

Here’s the truth: You will not grow by sacrificing yourself for an ideal of fairness. Instead, you grow by developing your strengths, seeking challenges, and embracing the fact that the world is full of inequalities—and those inequalities are your opportunity.

But here's where wisdom comes in: growth isn’t about crushing others or selfishly taking all you can. The most successful people understand that true strength lies in mastering both yourself and the system. Once you learn the rules, you can rise. And when you’ve risen, you can create space for others to rise with you.

The Power of Self-Mastery

The foundation of all success lies in mastering your emotions. Society often teaches us to suppress or ignore our emotions, but the reality is you need to train them, not ignore them. Let your emotions be a guide, a signal to what matters. If you feel anger, envy, or frustration, that’s telling you something. Don’t suppress those feelings—channel them into action. Ask yourself: “What can I do to change this situation?” That’s where your true power lies.

Emotions are data, not directives, as Susan David wisely notes​. Learn to interpret that data without letting it control you. Understand that guilt, shame, or self-doubt are merely emotions that can be retrained, just as you would retrain your body in the gym. The greats in any field—whether in business, leadership, or personal development—did not get there by wishing for fairness. They got there by mastering themselves and using every experience, even pain, as fuel for growth.

The Power of Team-Building

This is where a lot of people go wrong. They believe that to rise, others must fall. But real success is built in collaboration. Once you understand the game, once you’ve achieved a level of self-mastery, your greatest power comes from lifting others up. By understanding and influencing those around you, by offering respect and trust, you cultivate a team that makes the entire system stronger​.

Want to lead? Give influence to get influence. Respect begets respect. It’s not about domination, it’s about creating an ecosystem where everyone around you can thrive—and when they thrive, so do you. This is why successful leaders don’t operate from a place of scarcity, but from abundance. You don’t lose anything by making others stronger; in fact, your influence multiplies. As Jocko Willink says, “When you give respect, you earn respect”​.

Rejecting the Victim Mentality

One of the most dangerous traps is the idea that you are a victim of life’s unfairness. Life isn’t against you—it’s indifferent. The world owes you nothing. But here’s the good news: because life doesn’t play favorites, you have the power to create your own outcomes. Complaining about the success of others won’t make you any stronger; building yourself up will.

Rather than asking, "Why is the world unfair?" Ask, "What can I do to create my own opportunities?" When you stop wishing for fairness and start working toward mastery, you begin to separate yourself from the pack.

Tom Bilyeu emphasizes this beautifully: You meet the minimum requirements for success—everyone does. But whether you make it or not is entirely on you​. Accepting that reality puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. Take ownership of every decision, every action, every failure—and then learn from it.

Compassion and Leadership

But remember this: once you’ve mastered yourself, your mission isn't over. True success isn’t just about you—it’s about what you do with that success. Compassionate leadership is about creating opportunities for others, helping them to grow alongside you.

When you reach the top of your mountain, you don’t just stand there alone, looking down on others—you extend a hand. The most successful people, the ones who build legacies, are those who understand that collaboration is power. By helping others achieve, you reinforce your own strength. Your tribe, your team, your community—they become the force that pushes you even further ahead.

So yes, life isn’t fair. But that doesn’t mean it’s broken. It’s a masterpiece of opportunity, chaos, and growth. When you accept it, when you train yourself to thrive in it, and when you bring others along on the journey, you master both peace and power.

Don’t fight against the system. Learn it. Master it. Then use it to build a better world—for yourself and for others.

Welcome to Life

Welcome Living creature to the Earth. Congratulations! You are now separate from everything that you were before. Don't remember? Good you are not supposed to. Exciting isn't it? Scary? Just for a while until you get used to it. But don't worry you will get used to it. It's a little uncomfortable going from being part of everything to knowing almost nothing but don't worry your one of the lucky ones. You're Here! The ones that came before you have made your turn just a little bit easier just as you will help to make the turns that come after you a bitter easier. It used to be a lot harder so be glad it took us a long time to get to this point.

You’re going to need some help starting off but you have already shown that you are qualified because you are here so take comfort knowing that you beat out billions just like you to get to right where you are. You are a winner! And you will always be a winner as long as you want to be. All you have to do is want it. As long as you "want" you will be fine. Why? Well because wanting leads you to grow and growing will turn you into what you can be. I built into your system this desire factory to keep you on the right path. While you follow your wants you will be following the one most important rule that will keep you here. Call it the prime directive. What's the rule? BE YOURSELF. Doesn't sound that difficult does it? It's harder than it sounds. Why? Because you are not alone here. There are others. Some are similar to you and some are not. They are also winners like you. And they are trying to be themselves also. They also want what you want and some times you both can't have it. Its called competition. This is why you will form groups so that you can work together to get what you want. But groups are not you and you are going to have to pretend that you are not yourself to get what you want. It’s called compromise. These groups are called families, tribes, religions, nationality, races, schools, employment, language, gender, etc. You see already you broke the first rule: you are not yourself! You stopped being yourself to get what you wanted but you broke the first rule. Okay, don't worry you have a built-in "self forgetter" that allows you to forget who "you" are called your unconscious mind it will help you convince the others that you are not yourself and that you are part of their group. Everyone has this but since we all forget it, it works fine. This is important because when you are part of a group you can more easily get what you want remember. If you were aware of this all the time you would come across as dangerous to groups and you would kill your chances at using them for their advantages. The problem is that when you are part of a group you have to use their rules and these rules are not always in your best interest. Families, religions, employers, Nationalities they all want you to act according to their rules. They will tell you things like: We don't eat with our hands, We can't eat meat on Fridays, You must believe this or you will go to hell, You have to support us, you must pay your taxes, or membership dues, etc. The thing about groups is that they are useful but limiting. Groups like everything else are just a tool in the great game of life. Just don't forget this point or you will forget that you are "you" which is rule number one; remember "be yourself-just do it when you are alone." Groups want you to work for them more than you work for you. Some groups have gone so far as to ask you to die for them. They will convince your "you forgetter" that it's noble and wonderful and manly and honorable to die for the group. They call this loyalty and make a real big deal about it. And they are right. It's everything they say but do you want to check out of the dance? If not, stay away from that kind of thinking. They will even show you others that did so as heroes of the group. Unless you are ready to go back to where you came from and you want to stop being "you" don't go down this road. The choice is up to you. Being you is fun. If you’re not having fun your are doing it wrong! Remember life is just a game it can be fun if you play it right.

Don't think that groups are all against you either, they are not. Everyone in a group is just like you. In fact this letter is for them also so just remember that. No one is more important than another but some will be more favored than others especially if they want something more than the others. This goes for you too. So if you really want something figure out how to get it or how to do it. There will be this idea called fairness. Every one who loses will want it. Winners will not. Beware of people who want fairness they are the ones that want groups. This is because they have not yet learned how to win on their own. Winning is getting what you want. There will be times when getting what you want means someone else won't. They will say its not fair and they will want to be part of a group that will work for fairness. Use groups like a tool but don't get so attached that you lose yourself. Learn about reciprication its a way to trade unlike things that have different values so that your interactions pay off for you and the rest.

Earlier I said follow your wants. That's mostly true but the problem is choosing what you want. When you figure out how to determine what you really want you will have reached a very desirable stage in the dance. It's at this point that clarity will begin and when you will see that everything I have said so far is true. Choosing what you want is confusing because you first start off knowing what you want but then you will learn to use groups to get it. But slowly you will forget what you originally wanted because the group will be so important to you. You will trade what you want for something completely foreign. Then you will get what you think you want but you will then discover it wasn't what you wanted but rather what the group said you should want. This will leave you wondering what is going on? Why didn't getting what you wanted satisfy you? The answer is not as complicated as it seems: you compromised and forgot what your really wanted and you put what the group wanted in its place. This will make you ask questions which at first will make you feel bad because the group has taught you to feel bad when you question the group. They call it morality, guilt, ethics, etc. But after you discover a few things on your own you will get stronger and dare to ask harder and more painful questions. You might even find your self leaving the group mentally while physically still pretending to be part of it. Take your time at this point. This is the time to gather information and reflect what you really know versus what you have been taught to believe. Question everything you learn from a group because every group has its own rules. Some is true some is not. You will discover that it's incredible how much you believe that you really don't know. It's painful. You might even wish you hadn't reached this point many times because the comfort level is now gone. I don't recommend getting mad. Everything you are against weakens you. Focus on what you want instead it strengthens you. Learn to negotiate and navigate in groups this will lead you to great pleasure. You might even want to start a group against the other group yourself (see how this works), But don't, if you push through it you will discover yourself again. After all discovering yourself is the most fun part of becoming all that you can be. This is what you were made for. It's really a lot of fun.

I have prepared for you inside your life a guidance tool kind of like a compass. You will know it as pain and pleasure. Pain is how you will avoid going down paths that will not get you where you should be. But just like a compass only shows you the general directions pain and pleasure only do the same. In life you will have to go East and West sometimes to go North or South because there will not be any roads to take. It's the same with the pain and pleasure compass. You will have to go through some pain to get to your pleasure. This is called resistance. It's built into the dance. The best way to get to your goal is to focus on driving not the destination. But make sure you’re on the right path. But don't think that just because you are going through pain you are going the right way. Some groups believe this! This is because many times competition provides resistance so people mistakenly think that resistance means competition and generally competition means that there is stuff others want and you might want it too. Sometimes pain just means someone needs to build a road here. Maybe you can build that road? When you master using your pain and pleasure compass you will learn to drive you mind. Avoiding pain and obtaining pleasure will be a great source of motivation. In fact it is for every living creature with a brain. Your mind is the vehicle that I have given you to navigate and enjoy the ride. It's a great tool but you will not know how to drive it correctly for a long time. Some people never learn. They stay on the group side of the dance. They will make the world a better place for you and those like you. Don't hold this against them. You might actually be one for a very long time. It's not a bad thing. Some plants never flower, and it’s fine. Its all in correct order. When you think that you have gotten really good at driving your mind be careful you don't think you have mastered it. Make sure it's not the group that's making you think that. We can call the group "culture". When you are a huge success in the eyes of the World you will have reached a point where you think you're really good at self control and driving your mind, that's when you need to get away and reflect on whether you are really following your own road or the road of the group. Also, remember what ever is good for you will be good for those that come after you. Just like you showed up into a better world than the ones before you, it is this process we use to make this a better place.

I need to tell you about rules. Rules are patterns that make boundaries. That's it and nothing more. Boundaries are what make you "YOU". When you stop being you all boundaries cease. I use boundaries to separate everything into itself. However remember that rules are just tools to make the game. They are arbitrary. Rules are everywhere. Some call them the laws of physics, others call them commandments, some call them law. Groups love rules. I use rules but I never make a rule that I can't un-make, or break. That's just the way I am. I don't like to limit myself. If you want to have some fun, make up some of your own rules. Just don't take them too seriously or you will regret it. Or a group will form around them and soon you guys will be forgetting who you are.

Okay, you’re thinking this all sounds too good right. You just can't wait to get out there and be all that you can be. Great that's what I am hoping for but here is the catch. When it's all over and you come back to join infinity everything you did, thought, felt and created stays here on this side. You can't take any of it with you. You are just playing a character in the dance of life. When it’s over you will be right back where you came from enjoying the view from my side. You will not remember any of it from your point of view. You see "You" will be no more, instead you will wake up and be ME again after you merge back to the great Everything. Infinity and beyond. You will just simply love all of it. You will enjoy every single molecule of it knowing that you are building the most beautiful art work and you will love it all equally. No group will be more favored. No individual will be more favored. You will just keep watching more individuals in all their glorious forms develop and grow and add to the beautiful creation. Magnitude and beauty and glory and life in its entire glorious splendor will continue as You/God unraveling and revealing. You are the creation, the creators great dream, it's no artificial illusion "You" are here but "you" are playing a game with and against yourself. You have been doing this for eternity getting better and better as time passes. You are the Great Creator, you take many forms and you do it all at the same time. You started with the simple and you made it complex. You started with no rules and you brought order to chaos. Then you returned it to chaos again. You are the Earth,

Go have fun kids!

Five minutes of Peace

I wish to give you five minutes of peace. I would rather give you even longer but 5 minutes might be all you need to get back to a calm spot that will carry you through whatever you might have to face today.

Starting this very second if you have five minutes I want you to clear your mind of anything at all. Stop your worrying.
Stop your planning.
Stop complaining.
Just plain stop and be grateful for five minutes of pure uninterrupted quietness.

Now think about things that you are thankful for.
It might be your family, your pet, your friends.
It might be your car or your house, or your bicycle.
Be thankful for those things that are right in front of you.
Be happy for those that love you, that show up when you are down, that bring you presents on your birthday.
Think nice thoughts about them. These are the people that are there to pick you up when you can't pick yourself up. Be there for them also it will bring more happiness to you.
Be happy right now. Don't worry about the rest of the day or tomorrow or next week be happy right now.

Here are some of the things I am grateful for this moment right in front of me:
Air conditioning
Clean Clothes
A glass of ice cold tea
my computer
My wife
my sleeping children
my children are a sleep!
comfortable roof over my head
peace and quiet
a nice lamp
my bed which I will be in soon.

Thank God for the little things and the big ones will be just as wonderful!